Real Self-Care That Actually Works

We all experience stress at one time or another. And there can be good or bad stress in your life. Good stress can be the butterflies you feel before a job interview or the hard work put in as you stretch yourself for a promotion. Bad stress can be the constant pressures of being a caregiver to an aging or ill loved one, or dealing with a micromanaging boss at work.

When I run into stressful situations, I tend to double down and burn the candle at both ends. I think this is pretty common.

Here’s what I used to do:

I would work as hard as I needed to get the job done or drop everything to help someone in crisis. I regularly skipped breaks and turned to mindless snacking instead of eating balanced meals. All the while, I would be mainlining caffeine to stay alert.

Then, in the evenings, I would switch out the coffee for Cabernet to help me relax and stay up way too late binge-watching mindless television.

Sound familiar?

What Real Self-Care Actually Looks Like

Real self-care isn’t about escaping your life—it’s about supporting yourself within it. It includes rest, movement, connection, and taking care of the small things that help you feel more grounded day to day.

When Stress Becomes Burnout

Burnout has become more common year over year, and after what the world has been through, it can feel all but unavoidable. While there are many contributing factors to burnout, the result is essentially the same:

• Mental and physical exhaustion

• Negative feelings or cynicism

• Diminished ability to do your job well

And I know because I’ve experienced it.

I know I’m approaching burnout when it takes me an hour to write an email to a colleague or when the thought of going to work the next day creates a pit in my stomach.

Catching up on sleep during the weekends is pretty standard if you’re more of a night owl than an early bird. But sleeping 10-14 (or more!) hours on the weekends is a sign that you’re more than tired.

So, what can you do when you see the signs of burnout?

Why We Need to Complete the Stress Cycle

Completing the stress cycle is one of the most effective ways to reduce stress and overwhelm. Unlike what the wisdom of Instagram and self-care memes would have you believe, a pedicure and a sheet mask will not help you prevent burnout. While self-care is essential, it’s just one piece of the puzzle.

Completing the biological stress cycle helps return your body to a state of relaxation after stress.

Consider what stress does to your body. You get a nasty email from your boss: your stress hormones, cortisol, and adrenaline, spike. Your heart is pounding, and your ears are ringing as your body enters its fight-or-flight response. Except, you can’t do either (no matter how much you may want to). So instead, you distract yourself. You start scrolling Facebook or Instagram, reach for some comfort foods, and try to shake it off.

But it doesn’t really work—the stress response has taken over your body. Your blood pressure spiked, resulting in an increased chance of heart disease. And your digestion slows, which would be fine if you were putting your energy into running or fighting, but you’re not. So, instead, you’re left feeling edgy and bloated.

How to Complete the Stress Cycle Avoid Burnout By Showing Yourself Some Love

Luckily, there are simple ways to complete the stress cycle:

• Move Your Body

• Breathe Deeply

• Engage in Casual Conversation

• Laugh

• Physical Affection (pets count!)

• Talk to Loved Ones

• Cry

• Do Something Creative

And yoga takes care of (at least) two of them!

Avoid Burnout By Showing Yourself Some Love

The internet is filled with memes about self-care. They often include images of pedicures, pink champagne, and soaking in the tub. While these activities may be considered self-care on a superficial level (and the rosé is a bit of a stretch), there is more to self-care than pampering.

What Is Self-Care?

Self-care is meant to be the time you use to take care of your needs, not the demands of work, family, or anyone else. It may include getting your nails done if that’s important to you. It can also include scheduling that doctor’s appointment you’ve been putting off or making sure you’re flossing your teeth once a day.

Seriously, where are all the memes about dental hygiene??

Other forms of self-care might include making time for daily meditation, exercise, time in nature, or splurging on a healthy meal delivery service that encourages you to eat better. Even masturbation! Which is, ahem, quite literally self-love.

Why Self-Care Includes Getting Sh*t Done

We spend our days being pulled in many directions, and trying to keep up with it all can be exhausting!

Completing small tasks like making your bed or tidying up can boost your confidence and make you feel more in control.

Simple ways to get a dopamine hit:

• Make your bed in the morning

• Take 10 minutes to put the dishes away

• Dust your living room

• Take 5 minutes to tidy a single room or area of your home

• Call and schedule the appointment you’ve been putting off

Getting these simple, fast items off your To-Do list can create a calmer environment and give you a boost. So, rather than soaking in the tub to avoid stressing about dishes piling up in the sink, do the dishes! Then reward yourself with a bubble bath for a double dose of dopamine.

Taking a moment to do something kind for yourself, even something small, can shift your entire day.

Key Takeaways

Real self-care goes beyond pampering

• Burnout happens when stress isn’t fully processed

• Completing the stress cycle helps your body return to balance

• Small daily actions can support your mental and physical well-being

• Consistent, supportive habits matter more than occasional “resets.”

Ready to Feel More Supported in Your Daily Life?

If you’re craving a more sustainable way to care for yourself—one that actually works with your life instead of adding more pressure—you’ll love what we’re building inside Grow to Blossom.

Helpful Resources

A book I’ve found incredibly helpful for learning more about burnout and its impact on women is “Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle,” by Amelia Nagoski and Emily Nagoski.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is real self-care?

Real self-care is anything that supports your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. It goes beyond pampering and includes rest, movement, connection, and taking care of your daily needs.

What does it mean to complete the stress cycle?

Completing the stress cycle means allowing your body to fully process and release stress. This can happen through movement, breathing, laughter, connection, or other regulating activities.

Why doesn’t typical self-care prevent burnout?

Activities like spa treatments or relaxation can feel good temporarily, but they don’t always address the body's underlying stress. Without completing the stress cycle, stress can continue to build.

What are the early signs of burnout?

Common signs include exhaustion, irritability, lack of motivation, difficulty concentrating, and feeling overwhelmed by everyday tasks.

How can I practice self-care consistently?

Start small. Focus on simple daily actions like movement, rest, connection, and completing small tasks. Consistency matters more than intensity.

About the Author

Ashley Vasas is the founder of Grow to Blossom, a seasonal living and self-care practice designed to help people reconnect with themselves. A certified yoga teacher with more than 1,000 hours of teaching experience, she blends mindfulness, movement, and seasonal reflection to help people reduce stress, find balance, and create a more intentional way of living.

Explore more seasonal living practices at Grow to Blossom or join an upcoming workshop or ceremony.